Dramatic!

I guess Jonah had a flare for the dramatic! I mean, in Chapter 4 he actually told God he "angry enough to die." Not angry at an unrepentent people, not angry at sin. Jonah was angry at God's compassion and then that anger was compounded by a vine that God gave and took away.

It seems like such a limited perspective that Jonah has there at the end of the book but I can relate. When I pray and things don't go the way I thought they should I get upset, angry and hurt.

On Sunday my brother Casey, for the first time in years, went to church with us WILLINGLY. I was so excited that he might experience a bit of God's love and be moved to accept God's gift of grace and eternal life that I wasn't prepared for what was going to happen.

Casey endured the service uncomfortable all the while. And at the end with tears in his eyes he looked at me with a soft heart. My eyes teared up a bit, too. Whether his tears were from joy or pain, I didn't know. I just told him I loved him.

Without all of the details, something stirred Casey's heart and spirit. Was it the Holy Spirit knocking at the door of his heart? I don't know. But when I felt hurt by Casey's words in the car my heart's response was much like Jonah's. I was limited in my perspective and did not understand what had happened. I still don't. But what I do know is that God has a plan. I know a little of what Jonah was feeling when God said to him, "You have been concerned for this vine, but you did not tend it or make it grow."

My job is now what it was before. To love Casey, stand firm in God's word and truth and pray for Casey to feel that love and accept the salvation God's trying to give him.

Just another day.

Today feels like just another day that is going to kick my butt! Sorry for the pesimism!

I've just struggled to get things done around the house and be as efficient as I would like. I'm going to detox from facebook for a while and I think that will help me stay focused on what needs to get done. The TV has been off for almost a month now and that has certainly helped me be more effective in my home but I still am struggling to just get things done.

Maybe today will be different but if not...what do I do?! How do I break this getting nowhere fast habit? Other Mommies please chime in and I'll let you know tomorrow if I was able to manage things any better!

Jonah!

Brett and I read Jonah chapter 1 together last night and a few things caught our attention. One, Jonah ran from God. A prophet, whose job it was to be sensitive to God and had the understanding of consequences when and if you were disobedient, RAN from God. And two, the struggles and ultimately the repentence that Jonah experienced literally turned him around (via the giant fish) and headed him back toward Nineveh to do what God had called him to do in the first place.

What a picture of God's grace in light of such blatent disobedience. In chapter two I read Jonah's prayer and realize there are some key words there that Jonah uses. He talks about not experience God's grace because of our attention and devotion to other idols. What idols do I have in my life that keep me from knowing and feeling the grace of God? He also says that Salvation comes from the Lord. So in times of confusion, fear and frustration I'm going to remember these two things: I could be robbing myself of the grace of God by putting other idols first and that salvation only comes from the Lord. I can't save myself.

On my way...

Into another week! I feel good about our new church membership at Harvest Pointe Community Church and am feeling super blessed God has led us there.

I pray my heart will be soft this week to God and all he is trying to reveal to me about myself and the world around me. I pray that Brett, Trent and I will be the love that was so freely given to us.

It's been a while.

I've been really unfaithful with my blog. I just find enough time in my day to do what I need to and then what I don't need to on facebook, check my hotmail and then before I know it, Trent's naptime is over and the laundry is still staring at me.

So here it is 1:30 in the am and I'm still up! I don't feel well, but can't sleep and didnt' want to keep Brettly up while I toss and turn.

I'm sad that the Kids Zumba summer session 2 is over. The kids are such a bright spot in my week! One little boy so innocently tugged on my pants and when I kneeled down, he wiped my sweaty hair out of my face and held my face in his hands. It reminded me of when the Lost Boys (in "HOOK") were checkin' out Peter Pan and then one little boy pulled at his face and cupped his chin. After this little guy held my face he gave me a kiss on the cheek and said thanks. It was so sweet! I'll definitely have to do another session in the fall when I get back from the Zumba conference. I'll then be officially certified in ZUMBATOMIC (Kids Zumba) and hopefully have much more to offer the little zumbies!

I've been accepted to the Masters in Professional (Christian) Counseling program at Liberty University and start taking classes on Sept. 21st.

I have only told a hand-full of people about this and I think it's mostly because I can't believe it's actually happening! I had so many plans and ideas about how this was going to work and then it didn't. So I guess I finally let my grip on my life plan loosen up and this is just amazing to me how God is working. He's reminded me, through a LOVELY and UNEXPECTED gal, that I love to listen, apply scripture, pray and help. This has definitely been welcomed refreshment in my hectic life. I guess, too, I feel like I don't deserve for this to work out. I haven't done anything recently to be more Godly or to pursue this path other than apply...and even saying that I feel like I'm exposing myself. And I worry that others will think the same, that I don't deserve this and what kind of counsel could I possibly give to anyone b/c I'm a wreck. Satan is such a good liar whether or not people chose to be vehicles for those lies.

"In everything give thanks" and I'm pretty sure there something that mentions avoiding foolish talk. So, I give thanks. Sure I don't deserve this life. Jesus gave it to me and I'm grateful. Without him, I'm nothing. Without him, I'm dead. WITH him, I can be alive. Alive in my profession, alive as a wife, alive as a mother and free to be GRATEFUL for all that I have in Jesus.

Amen (and as my dear friend Debby says) "and Amen"

Why can't we just love?

Sometimes, it seems that the more years I add to my new life in Christ the more easy it becomes to get caught up in Christianity than to be caught up in Jesus.

Breaking down what people say by whether or not they are biblically sound instead of just LISTENING to them and loving them is a habit that comes to mind. Or analyzing someone else's sin instead of seeing them the way God does is another bad tendency.

The saddest part about my quest to be more "Christian" is that I get trapped between trying to get it right and feeling guilty because I don't. And ultimately, it seperates me from others and sabotages exactly what God's desire is for my life...to be in relationship. The worst is when I sacrafice my relationship with God to chase Christianity and religion.

It's all about

Relationship! I'm reading The Shack and in fact am driving my husband mad because I read it before bed when he's ready to tuck in for the night.

Now that I'm 'getting' it I can't put it down. There was a turning point for me with the book where I started to really connect to Mack the main character. I am now beginning to see some of the HUGE truths that are packed into this not-so-long paperback book.

The number one truth I'm meditating on now is relationship. God wants to be in relationship with us. God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit want to be as close to me as I'll allow them to be. And even more, God is "especially fond" of lots of people and I should be, too. It's encouraging me to be available for other people in conversation and time. I definitely am glad to be reminded of the need for good listeners in this world where there are so many who are hurting.

If you get the chance, check it out. The Shack by William P. Young