It started at 6a when I silenced my iPod alarm that was set to “Savior Please”. Nice, right? So I didn’t get up and go work out early this morning like I had decided to at midnight the night before. Usually at midnight is when all of my great plans for the next day unfold. And 6a is usually when the foundation of those plans crumbles. Even though I didn’t meet my first goal, I had a Mom’s get together that I was looking forward to so my spirit could not be that easily stifled this morning. I ate a great breakfast [spinach frittata, with bits of turkey bacon and 2 tbsp of taboule]. I packed a great snack and was on my way to a healthy day. I did well all the way up to baking cookies for a bake sale and then had two cookies. And then the worst was after I taught two boot camps that I partially participated in I got the craving. It started and pressed in until I caved. I ended up getting a third-pounder at McDonald’s AS A MEAL. I ate it quickly, felt sick, nibbled on some fries and sipped a little diet coke. Eating the burger quieted the raging beast of an addiction within me. But then, the beast’s sidekicks of guilt and shame joined me on my ride home as I thought about how many calories void of nutritious value I had just consumed. They eagerly reminded me of the workout I would not be doing when I got home, how bad I would feel when I saw my husband, and that I could cover it all up by eating whatever had been prepared for dinner that night at home. I am not kidding or exaggerating at all., these are the thoughts that have gone through my mind since 7:30p.
Now is the critical moment. Will I chose to talk to God about it and get real with myself and my husband about my addiction? Or, do it all over again tomorrow? I think I will enter my food for the day in myfitnesspal.com, get on my knees and thank God for his forgiveness, ask God to renew my faith in him and to help me rest my hope not in my own will-power, but in him. It’s interesting that we read James 1 last week for small group and myself in James reference to the person who sees their own reflection and does nothing about the problems that need to be fixed. I desire to seek God with my whole heart and allow him to show me what I need to do to fix this addiction, I do not want to live in denial any longer.
10 minutes later:
Goal Caloric Intake: 1200 calories
Actual Caloric Intake: 2119 calories
Exercise: 400 calories expended
As you can see I am 500 calories over for my goal today. Is it the end of the world? No. Do I need to be more focused? Yes.
I am equipped with my EAT-CLEAN DIET Recharged by Tosca Reno, my Polar Heart Rate Monitor Watch (Brand New), and myfitnesspal.com. It is time, my friends. It is time.
No comments:
Post a Comment