Friday, February 12, 2010

AJ: [rocker fist pumpin] "Here I go again on my own..."

That darn White Snake song will not leave my head! I have been pretty overwhelmed lately with the things that I'm responsible for in life. I've pretty much checked out during the critical days and feel paralysis taking over me because I don't even know where to begin.

Last night when I was trying to fall asleep I could not make myself quiet down. I kept running through my mind all of my responsibilities and consequently, all of my inadequacies. Brett just said, "Pray about it."

Whoa! It was like no one had ever told me that I could pray before. Why hadn't I thought of that? As soon as I began to share with God my schedule, my activities and my concerns over doing too much, I fell asleep.

I'm not promoting prayer as a sleep aid. In fact, I do remember being told to hold my hand straight-up, over my face so when I fall asleep during my nightly prayers it will wake me back up. Anyway, what I am realizing again, that I keep trying to do everything on my own without God. Talking to Him about my life, responsibilities, desires to grow and change and trusting Him to guide me and provide for me the means to stay in his will is something that feels foreign lately.

If you don't mind, please pray for my spiritual growth and my for my relationship with God to deepen. I want to want HIM more.