God, this morning I can feel you continually calling me to you. You are calling me through my worry about Trent’s preschool, through the sounds of Toy Story 3, all through making breakfast, sorting the laundry, and the general tasks of starting my day. Thank you, Lord. Thank you for calling me to you and drawing me in to rest in your arms and remember who my life is for, who I am to serve, and thank you for helping me get all the other stuff in perspective. It’s just that, stuff. God your love is and it’s healing powers are beyond any solution I could concoct on my own and I am so grateful to rest in your love.
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A wise lady (Marsha Joiner; we were coworkers at the church) once told me, “Spiritual maturity is happening when the time between the point of crisis and the point of turning to God gets smaller and smaller.” Marsha and I worked together probably over five years ago. She and the other “office ladies” of the church, were such a bright spot to my days. These ladies had a way of edifying me when I didn’t even realize I needed to grow and they also had a way of being that soft place to land in the midst of turmoil.
During my time working at the church I went from being a single lady ((Quick shout out to the single ladies seeking God with all their hearts!!! Single ladies where you at?!!)) patiently waiting for God to…UUUUURCH! Back it up, and let’s be honest! I was NOT patiently waiting. I was biting at the bit for God to reveal to me the man of my dreams and I definitely have the journal entries to prove it! I found myself setting up the scenario for God (precious, right?!) and then just praying, “God move in this man’s heart so he can see what an amazing life in serving you we will have together!” I did all the leg work for God. I bumped AND set the ball, all God had to do was spike it!
Needless to say, there was a lot of growth that needed to take place in my own heart. Is it now more apparent why Miss Marsha had to dole out advice about spiritual maturity?! I had to learn about patience, I had to learn about submitting my will (and my thoughts, actions, feelings) to God, and I had to learn to let God write my love story. Funny thing, I’m still learning these exact lessons.
I think I get so caught up in the ideal love story that I thought I was going to experience. You know, the one between a man and a woman; where Fabio finally realizes all he needs could be found in the essence of the peasant girl (yours truly) that he had waited for all his life. And now, all that is left is for them to love and serve each other for the rest of their days feeding each other grapes and “enlarging their territory.” YUCK! Gross, right?! I didn’t realize that while there where some things I had learned to submit to God (i.e. dating relationship and wedding day) that my entire life was God’s love story!!!
It is interesting to note the fervor in which I pursued God as I allowed him to write my dating and pre-marital love story. Interesting because almost immediately after marriage, I stopped having faith in God’s penmenship. Philippians 1:6 states:
… being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Did I misread that to say:
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of your wedding, Amanda Jo-now-Huffman?
Apparently so. Am I alone here sisters? Is there anyone out there (that while you may not say, “Yes, when I am married and can start a family, I will be happy and fulfilled!”) that finds yourself feeling sometimes just as lonely as when you were single? When we pick an earthly lover or idol over the source of all love, emptiness and sadness are right around the corner. Yes, "love" has even become my idol at times causing me to be clanging cymbal in my husband’s ear; or better yet a dripping faucet nagging about love or the lack of it at every opportunity. Oh my patient, patient, husband.
As I continue to get reeducated on love, I'm learning it's not about recieving gifts, acts of service, kisses, hugs, daily words of affirmation (or minute-by-minute if your a junky like me). It's about serving, committing to who God has called me to-HIMSELF, compromising and even dying to myself. Greater love has no man than this; that he would lay down his life for his friends! Thanks for the re-mind Pastor Matthew Vaught and Pastor Mike Woods!
I pray right now that God is increasing your faith in whatever area it is that you are struggling for control over; to believe that He is in control of that exact area of need! What is it? Is it an eating disorder, finances, infidelity within your marriage, vanity, business, loneliness, hopelessness, depression, unhealthy family patterns, an addiction/s? Whatever it is, God wants to rule over that area of your life and rewrite your COMPLETE love story. This love story isn’t about you and a man, it’s about you and the Son of Man, His Father, and the Holy Spirit. I know for me, I have to grow in my faith in many of these areas, and I can only do that with the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, repentance through Jesus Christ, and the love of my Father, God. I hope you will pray this with me:
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts (Psalm 139:23)
And I pray you will allow God to confirm in your heart this truth:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:10-12)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:27-29)
And may we believe with our whole hearts that He who has begun a good work in us WILL see it through to completion!
Amen? Amen! And Happy Valentine's Day!
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