So far today has gone well. I woke up and ate a great breakfast and have eaten "clean" all day up to now. I also set a goal to have both of my discussion board posts done by noon and did it! We are reading in James chapter 2 in small group and I see how all of this is tying together. James, the brother of Jesus warns us against having faith without works and that it is impossible for either to survive independently. This reflects the physical concepts of eating well and staying active. One with out the other is not wellness. And for me to be liberated to serve God, I have to keep faith that God will complete the work he started in me whiiiiiile I work on getting healthier. I am seeing that at this stage, this effort requires constant prayer and keeping God's word IN MY HEART (in case my Bible is not close by) so that I can call on the wisdom of God to get through the cravings and addictions.
Tonight Zumba class was so much fun. But on my way I realized that while Zumba is an excellent physical release, I've also been relying on it to be my mental/emotional/spiritual release. On my way to class I was thinking about yesterday, my third pounder, and why I chose the temptation over wellness. It was then that I remembered that JUST before I started the first bootcamp I got some bad news from the hubs. This was a marital stressor kind of conversation. I didn't pray about it before going off to teach and did not take my hurt, frustrations, and anxiety to God before going on with my job. This loneliness that stewed in my heart for three hours, I believe, is a big part of the reason I was so vulnerable to the tempting comfort of food. It also made me aware that I really must pray to God minute by minute, being 100% genuine with what's on my heart so he can fight for me and I can find my security in him, not being wavered by circumstance.
Tonight after class was much better and my stats for the day are MUCH better! Myfitnesspal.com has been a huge help in keeping me on task with not overeating and seeing what is and is not most effective in my quest. And now, I am with clean conscience going to go have some spinach, hummus and taboule (my favorites)!
1 comment:
Keep on keepin' on, Amanda. It is through our life's journey that we grow, reflect, and grow some more. You are so far ahead of many---don't beat yourself up so much; just vow to do better when you know better. I applaud you for putting yourself out there. I think that when we hide away our fears, embarrassments or pain, we give it more power than it really needs. By exposing it, getting it "out there", we free ourselves and take our power back. And that, my friend, is what you are doing.....
Well done! I am proud of who you are. And I'm proud to call you my friend.
Keri
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