A New Day

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 John 4:7-12

It's almost humorous to me that I warned that my last post was "raw". I still completely edited all of my sinfulness and the complete ugliness of the situation all while thinking I was really exposing myself. It's so hard to be vulnerable when I'm wrong.

As I went to bed last night finally at midnight I really didn't know how long it would take God to work to heal my marriage. The damage that was done by both of us could justify weeks of frustration and discouragement. But I believe God truly worked a miracle. Brett and I have both learned that we have expectations of one another and that we are both keenly aware of our own shortcomings as well as the disappointment we feel when we are let down by unmet expectations. We should know that late night discussions of where we fall short lead to defensive hostility but some lessons we are still learning...again.

It was made very clear to me last night as I read trying to sort it all out that I'm NEVER to react to the judgement of another letting them determine my worth or my faith. I also know in my heart that a circumstance should not determine my joy or hope. Romans 5:3-5 makes that clear.

This morning we were still angry. But before the sun came up we talked. It wasn't pretty and we each had to digest our own servings of humble pie for breakfast. But love prevailed. God prevailed. God healed. When we put God first, we put each other first and we are heard. And to be honest, we find that when we put each other first we want the same things: bills paid on time, a comfortable home that's a soft place to land, our baby boy taken care of, our health on track. We found we really aren't that different after all. It's amazing how quickly we become agents working against each other instead of being on the same team.

Praise God COMPLETELY for getting me out of my pit of self-pity and dispair and for starting the new day with HIS LOVE on the tip of my heart.

May God continue to make himself known to me and my family and to you and yours.